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Brooke Shields, who waited until she was 22, told Health that she wished she had lost her virginity sooner , because she felt that if she had, "I would have been much more in touch with myself. I won't go as far as to say losing my virginity was a political act for me — it was chiefly borne out of curiosity and overwhelming horniness — but I was happy that that losing my virginity seemed permanently remove me from the good girl Olympics. A white wedding dress. I failed spectacularly at all of these activities even when I tried, so I liked that losing my virginity took me out of the running in a race I had never signed on to be a part of.

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For me, this could not have been further from the truth. Though I regret many things from my teen years — such as my mistaken belief that red eyeshadow is ever a good idea — I have never regretted the circumstances surrounding the loss of my virginity. But for many people, there's baggage around the idea of high schoolers having sex, especially when you're a woman, and supposed to be hanging on to your virginity for dear life so that you can cash it in for something important farther down the line jewelry. The "perfect" teen girl didn't follow her own sexual impulses wherever they led her — so now that I had definitively established to myself that I wasn't perfect, I felt like I could finally get to work on just being myself. I personally would have been much less happy if I waited — and much more likely to have made a dumb, damaging decision, like having sex with someone I didn't care about at all, because I was crawling out of my skin with horniness. But my experience losing my virginity wasn't great because the bed was covered in rose petals, because I had hit some arbitrary age marker beforehand, or because the guy I lost it to became my husband in the parlance of our times. I failed spectacularly at all of these activities even when I tried, so I liked that losing my virginity took me out of the running in a race I had never signed on to be a part of.

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Cristal from Ashburn Age: 25. I don't understand how you can not have sex.

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My way was right for me, and I would never say that it is right for everyone — for some people, losing your virginity under a specific set of circumstances is incredibly meaningful, and being respectful of that is part of being respectful of sexuality in general. Though I regret many things from my teen years — such as my mistaken belief that red eyeshadow is ever a good idea — I have never regretted the circumstances surrounding the loss of my virginity. People who had sex young, waited until they were older, waited until marriage, or decided that sex was off the table for them completely shouldn't be judged. Now, 17 years later, I still remember that night fondly.

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Description: My own first sexual experience was no different — I felt satisfied because I achieved a goal, but not because the sex was actually, you know, satisfying. But as I got older, I realized that 16 reads as a bit young for sex to many people — they didn't see me as the heroine of my own sexual destiny, but instead as a kid who wasn't old enough to be trusted to make decisions about her body. But know that it goes both ways. no one should be pitied or thought less of because they lost their virginity on the younger side. Mind you, 16 is not much younger than the national average age for loss of virginity — Though no one has ever had to ovaries to say this to me directly, I know the assumptions that many people jump to when they hear about a high school sexual experience. Brooke Shields, who waited until she was 22, told Health that she wished she had lost her virginity sooner , because she felt that if she had, "I would have been much more in touch with myself. Our cultural concerns about young women being pressured into having sex can be positive and important — many people of all ages are manipulated into going beyond their sexual limits and engaging in activities that make them feel unhappy and unsafe, and its important that people feel they have the kind of support that they need in order to stick to their boundaries.
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